COVID-19 vraagt om een speciale aflevering. hannelore.one
Twee jaar geleden werd me vanuit twee academische opleidingscentra de vraag gesteld of ik een stage wou voorzien voor twee studenten met manifeste faalangst. Ik stemde toe en hanteerde de volgende aanpak:
Bij aanvang vertelde ik hen dat ze niet de juiste antwoorden zouden kennen, maar ook niet de correcte vragen zouden stellen, fouten zouden maken, zelfs knoeien, en bedenkelijke beslissingen zouden nemen. En dat is een goed teken! Want… MEER
- You want to learn. So do I offer a context that is challenging enough? Am I able to entice you and place you in competition against yourself? Do I create chances in which you are able to develop an impact?
- Your learning process is a trajectory. It means there are no dead-ends; correcting is part of the deal in reaching your goals. Complaints and thus problem-solving is part of every (company’s) process. The question is how you will accommodate efficiently and effectively, know how to learn from it and will use this knowledge to sail your ship through turbulent waters to ‘the promised land’ (and yes, you will get some water splashes in your face along the way).
Two years ago, two different academic institutions asked me to provide an internship for two students with a pervasive feel of failure and performance anxiety. I agreed to it and choose this approach:
First, I told them they didn’t know the right answers, but neither would they ask for the right questions; they would make mistakes, even mess up; and opt for doubtful decisions. And that was a good thing! Because in general, there are two things I keep in focus:
Now that they could imagine, all right. All by all, it was an internship. And they wished to fulfill it to the best of their capabilities. And if they then would mess up…
I smiled. My ‘ego’ got exactly what it wished for.
So I added:
“And there is no problem at all, not any mistake of yours, that I’m not able to anticipate, that I can’t remediate or correct, where I don’t find any opportunity or the pleasure to formulate an answer with knowledge and skills and to demonstrate my competence. Try me!”
And well, yes, soon the database was flushed, my agenda flew overboard, cables were badly matched, operations and organizations but half-finished and clients forgotten to invoice…
I surely wasn’t bored.
And I admit, it became hard. Because, they showed up enthusiastically with problems where they themselves found a solution for, which they knew I would more than appreciate, and more importantly, that I probably couldn’t beat with a better alternative as well.
I’m proud I’m still the fastest and most skilled ‘brain caps-girl’ [putting on the brain caps].
So we became a team and both interns graduated magna cum laude. Later, Eva became my employee and the issue with fear of failure was already long gone. For me, it felt great to experience the wind under my wings in difficult situations. Indeed, ‘try me’ was still on. And by then, I needed her input to make wise decisions.
And finally, the most difficult lesson for her was called on:
Sometimes, you have a valuable idea, a solid product, a beautiful offer, a highly developed production unit, an extensive team of supportive people, [or a long marriage]… and are the cards laid out on the table as such, is the market or life situation as such -although you try everything-, that you need to alter your approach, that it is time to take a different road. You then arm yourself with all your gained knowledge and skills and do what you have to: you redirect and invest in new opportunities and opportunities that do offer themselves. Despite the past, the dream, the efforts, the investments. Despite the desire. It is the most difficult decision ever. It is called: “Cut your losses…”.
I have found many possibilities in difficulty, created many opportunities or solutions. And took the losses as well. Besides the experience, the knowledge, and a renewed trust, it fed… my ego as well.
And that’s a good thing! Because today we have COVID-19. And surely, that has a lot of impacts. In our lives with our families, in our job, in investments and income. It is the perfect time to contemplate who we are, what we really wish for, how we thrive, what could be improved or even is necessary to. But especially to choose not to be isolated in this.To experience a partner in understanding, in problem clarification and vision, in business possibilities, quick wins, strategy, and decisions. A trusted person and problem solver with extensive knowledge in a variety of areas.
I admit. It won’t be easy.Challenge me!
Let me know how you are doing and what is on your mind. I want to meet with your vision and understand your challenges, to be available with my knowledge and experience and to contribute with my thoughts as well. And now, with COVID-19, I especially want to be there for you. Make use of it! *
*) This is a one-time offer, free and non-binding. What’s in it for me? I’m a mind-explorer… And of visions and possibilities… Of people.
I’m looking forward to meeting you!